Why I’ll be ordering Chinese

Have I told you about how my pizza delivery guy loves coming to my house?? (Yes.. I know I've had Pizza Guy issues before...Read this if you don't remember..) 

Well now I really must be the talk of the Pizza Delivery Guy break room.......I answered the door when he arrived and he kept staring at my chest..I mean really staring...like squinting... Now first this kid is like 18 so  I’m thinking…Wow!!  I must be a cougar!!!  ROAR!!!!!!  Well As I pass my hall mirror I am realizing I am having a wardrobe malfunction bigger then any Janet  Jackson ever had…

(Daydream Mommy Mode…  Micah Jessie ,TMZ and Perez Hilton would have been all over it, I’d even be the cover of People Magazine had I been famous!! )

Apparently my ipod that I had clipped on pulled my bra and shirt was  hanging so low..it pulled my shirt and bra down so that ¾ of my right boob..(yep..nipple and all people ..was hanging out…)  Now I am so damn mortified …

My friend said consider it an extra tip for him.. I’m thinking he might be scarred for life…….So,I’ll be ordering a lot of Chinese for the next month or so…..

OHHH Buzz

YEP...  That's a kid cup!!!!!!!!  Now I love Buzz!!!  



Thanks to Merrie for "pointing this out"

The hiatus is over!!!! ..So learn how to be Nice- Nasty

A trip to the fair

Yeah Yeah I know I have a smart mouth . Now that my sons are really taking notice of my behavior I am trying (yes trying) to be “good”…So I have decided to be “Nice-Nasty.” This is a term I use to describe how I now react to situations.. It’s like a passive aggressive thingy but better, because my kids never hear me loose my sweet tone….  It pisses people off and I walk away satisfied..Here’s an example…

We go to a country fair. My husband is from this very rural area of N.J. so we head out there every year for their horse and sheep show. While were there the kids were begging to go on this roller coaster. We get in line… The biggest ugliest woman was in front of us….. I didn’t really notice her because I was facebooking of course..UNTIL….she messed with my kid. My oldest stepped out of line to look at the ride. This woman turned to him and rudely yelled…” I am the end of the line kid..” I politely tapped her on the shoulder.. “ Ma’am actually I’m the end of the line..my son is with me.” ( I said this as mildly as I could) ..but you know me I couldn’t let that go.. So I turned to my son and said.. “Christopher, please stay behind the VERY big woman, even though she’s obstructing your view.. you will see the ride soon enough.”  The woman turned around ready to pounce and I just smiled really big pretending to be sweet and innocent while she was turning five shades of red… 

   Now that’ how you do the Nice- Nasty!!!!!

Yes I’m back from this long much needed break…Thank you to all my readers that sent me messages,emails, facebook posts from all over the U..S. reminding me that they enjoy my stories and asking for my return…  Thank Sweet Baby Jesus someone laughs at my warped humor..

Poppy is the guest blogger

Today my dad.. "Poppy" is filling in..  you see its my 11th  wedding anniversary  and I will be celebrating...  so without further ado...  HERE"S POPPY!!!

Bad Baby and Food!

You have all read the stories about Bad Baby Will.  Trust me, he is a real trip.  The one thing you do Not do when you are around him is take any of his food.  Let me give you a few examples.

A few days ago he was playing with his Pez dispenser and he dropped some of the Pez on the kitchen floor.  I picked up a few and handed them to him, only popping one in my mouth.  Well you would have thought I was trying to kill him.  He started yelling at me saying that I stole his candy and how bad a Poppy I am.  I told him I didn’t take any but he said that he saw me chewing candy.  He threw his Pez dispenser on the floor screaming like a lunatic.  I said good – them I will eat them.  He charged at me like a bull at a bullfight.  I made like I was crying and told him I was hurt.  He turns around and says “don’t touch my stuff again Poppy or I will beat you down!”

The next day my daughter Christi and I took him with us to Toys R Us – big mistake.  First of all he wants everything he sees just like other kids.  When we told him he would have to wait until the next day and maybe the Easter bunny would bring him something he continued yelling until my daughter mentioned getting him something to eat.  “What you gonna get me?”  Christi said how about a Good Humor bar that she saw in the nearby freezer bin.  He agreed.  He was half way done when we had to get him in the car.  I told him to give me the ice cream until he climbed into the car seat.  You can’t lift him easily as he is nearly 70 lbs.  Once he was seated I gave him back the ice cream and he starts yelling at me saying that I ate some of it.  The battle continued for another 10 minutes and he kept telling me he didn’t like me anymore because I eat his food all the time.

Finally, yesterday he goes out on the deck with a plate of chips and shrimp – yes this kid loves shrimp cocktail, and he sits next to a close friend who was over for dinner.  Our friend asks him “what you got there Will?” Will immediately moves his plate out of our friend’s reach and says “don’t even think about taking my scwimp”.  He sat there hovering over his plate so that even a herd of elephants couldn’t have stolen it.

My question to Will is “Can you say NutriSystem?”

I’m sure his answer would be something like “Is that something good to eat?”

It's Tshirt Time.... MeMa edition

Today T Shirt Time is dedicated to MeMa.. She will be  wearing this...
It's her birthday tomorrow.. 

For all her funny antics and all her big personality.. Read this if you don't know about Me-Ma

MeMa.. The Birthday Diva!!!

I'd like to wish her a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!   Love you Mom!!!!

I'm free..or not

Today we are back to the old grind after a long fun week of .. ‘home”.  We did a lot on our staycation..  The biggest thing though was…. (DRUMROLL PLEASE>>>) 

Bad Baby is Potty trained..  

 Oh Sweet Baby Jesus. It was tough.. I feel like I just got home from battle. 

To be honest I have bought diapers non stop since 2002..  Pampers will miss me and the stock will plummet.. but I am FREE!!!  Yeah Yeah.. My bathrooms are sooo gross because his aim is OFF … (WAY OFF)  (Hey he’s like his Dad and brothers..)  But I don’t care.. I have been emancipated from it all…  YAY!!!!!!!

Last night as I lay in bed ..Bad Baby came running in..

  Bad Baby: Mom Feel Me

"What !" I mumbled as I wiped the sleep from my eyes…

Bad Baby: Did I fart in my underwear or poop?

Maybe I’m not that far from free afer all huh??

An Easter Story!!!!!!!!!! (I'm BACK FROM BREAK!!!)

I"M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my almost Easter conversation with my kid this afternoon...

Me: Tommy. Please stop leaving your underwear all over the house…

 Thomas: Sheesh Lady you are tough.

Me: What did you just say?

Thomas: Nothing.. did the Easter Bunny hear me?

Me: Yep!  And he’s not gonna like it.

Tommy: I wanted to call him anyway and tell him I have too many cavities so I’ll just swap my stuff for toys.

Me: Remember I told you he’s not Santa..

Tommy:  Yeah Yeah… but he needs to care for kids health I’m only in Kindergarten and if I eat too much candy I’ll have no teeth by first grade.

 Me:Your not gonna have teeth if I knock em out 'cause you got a fresh mouth.

Tommy:  (whispers in my ear).. Now we are both getting nothing because we both have bad attitudes...

Me:  GRRRRRRRRRRR  I can’t win!!!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!