Raising Normal Kids

Why I’ll be ordering Chinese

2011-08-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

Have I told you about how my pizza delivery guy loves coming to my house?? (Yes.. I know I've had Pizza Guy issues before...Read this if you don't remember..)

Well now I really must be the talk of the Pizza Delivery Guy break room.......I answered the door when he arrived and he kept staring at my chest..I mean really staring...like squinting... Now first this kid is like 18 so I’m thinking…Wow!! I must be a cougar!!! ROAR!!!!!! Well As I pass my hall mirror I am realizing I am having a wardrobe malfunction bigger then any Janet Jackson ever had…

(Daydream Mommy Mode… Micah Jessie ,TMZ and Perez Hilton would have been all over it, I’d even be the cover of People Magazine had I been famous!! )

Apparently my ipod that I had clipped on pulled my bra and shirt was hanging so low..it pulled my shirt and bra down so that ¾ of my right boob..(yep..nipple and all people ..was hanging out…) Now I am so damn mortified …

My friend said consider it an extra tip for him.. I’m thinking he might be scarred for life…….So,I’ll be ordering a lot of Chinese for the next month or so…..

OHHH Buzz

2011-08-19T04:20:00.000-07:00

YEP... That's a kid cup!!!!!!!! Now I love Buzz!!!

Thanks to Merrie for "pointing this out"

The hiatus is over!!!! ..So learn how to be Nice- Nasty

2011-08-16T18:38:00.001-07:00

A trip to the fair

Yeah Yeah I know I have a smart mouth . Now that my sons are really taking notice of my behavior I am trying (yes trying) to be “good”…So I have decided to be “Nice-Nasty.” This is a term I use to describe how I now react to situations.. It’s like a passive aggressive thingy but better, because my kids never hear me loose my sweet tone…. It pisses people off and I walk away satisfied..Here’s an example…

We go to a country fair. My husband is from this very rural area of N.J. so we head out there every year for their horse and sheep show. While were there the kids were begging to go on this roller coaster. We get in line… The biggest ugliest woman was in front of us….. I didn’t really notice her because I was facebooking of course..UNTIL….she messed with my kid. My oldest stepped out of line to look at the ride. This woman turned to him and rudely yelled…” I am the end of the line kid..” I politely tapped her on the shoulder.. “ Ma’am actually I’m the end of the line..my son is with me.” ( I said this as mildly as I could) ..but you know me I couldn’t let that go.. So I turned to my son and said.. “Christopher, please stay behind the VERY big woman, even though she’s obstructing your view.. you will see the ride soon enough.” The woman turned around ready to pounce and I just smiled really big pretending to be sweet and innocent while she was turning five shades of red…

Now that’ how you do the Nice- Nasty!!!!!

Yes I’m back from this long much needed break…Thank you to all my readers that sent me messages,emails, facebook posts from all over the U..S. reminding me that they enjoy my stories and asking for my return… Thank Sweet Baby Jesus someone laughs at my warped humor..

Poppy is the guest blogger

2011-04-29T07:34:00.001-07:00

Today my dad.. "Poppy" is filling in.. you see its my 11th wedding anniversary and I will be celebrating... so without further ado... HERE"S POPPY!!!

Bad Baby and Food!

You have all read the stories about Bad Baby Will. Trust me, he is a real trip. The one thing you do Not do when you are around him is take any of his food. Let me give you a few examples.

A few days ago he was playing with his Pez dispenser and he dropped some of the Pez on the kitchen floor. I picked up a few and handed them to him, only popping one in my mouth. Well you would have thought I was trying to kill him. He started yelling at me saying that I stole his candy and how bad a Poppy I am. I told him I didn’t take any but he said that he saw me chewing candy. He threw his Pez dispenser on the floor screaming like a lunatic. I said good – them I will eat them. He charged at me like a bull at a bullfight. I made like I was crying and told him I was hurt. He turns around and says “don’t touch my stuff again Poppy or I will beat you down!”

The next day my daughter Christi and I took him with us to Toys R Us – big mistake. First of all he wants everything he sees just like other kids. When we told him he would have to wait until the next day and maybe the Easter bunny would bring him something he continued yelling until my daughter mentioned getting him something to eat. “What you gonna get me?” Christi said how about a Good Humor bar that she saw in the nearby freezer bin. He agreed. He was half way done when we had to get him in the car. I told him to give me the ice cream until he climbed into the car seat. You can’t lift him easily as he is nearly 70 lbs. Once he was seated I gave him back the ice cream and he starts yelling at me saying that I ate some of it. The battle continued for another 10 minutes and he kept telling me he didn’t like me anymore because I eat his food all the time.

Finally, yesterday he goes out on the deck with a plate of chips and shrimp – yes this kid loves shrimp cocktail, and he sits next to a close friend who was over for dinner. Our friend asks him “what you got there Will?” Will immediately moves his plate out of our friend’s reach and says “don’t even think about taking my scwimp”. He sat there hovering over his plate so that even a herd of elephants couldn’t have stolen it.

My question to Will is “Can you say NutriSystem?”

I’m sure his answer would be something like “Is that something good to eat?”

It's Tshirt Time.... MeMa edition

2011-04-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

Today T Shirt Time is dedicated to MeMa.. She will be wearing this...
It's her birthday tomorrow..

For all her funny antics and all her big personality.. Read this if you don't know about Me-Ma

MeMa.. The Birthday Diva!!!

I'd like to wish her a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Love you Mom!!!!

I'm free..or not

2011-04-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

Today we are back to the old grind after a long fun week of .. ‘home”. We did a lot on our staycation.. The biggest thing though was…. (DRUMROLL PLEASE>>>)

Bad Baby is Potty trained..

Oh Sweet Baby Jesus. It was tough.. I feel like I just got home from battle.

To be honest I have bought diapers non stop since 2002.. Pampers will miss me and the stock will plummet.. but I am FREE!!! Yeah Yeah.. My bathrooms are sooo gross because his aim is OFF … (WAY OFF) (Hey he’s like his Dad and brothers..) But I don’t care.. I have been emancipated from it all… YAY!!!!!!!

Last night as I lay in bed ..Bad Baby came running in..

Bad Baby: Mom Feel Me

"What !" I mumbled as I wiped the sleep from my eyes…

Bad Baby: Did I fart in my underwear or poop?

Maybe I’m not that far from free afer all huh??

An Easter Story!!!!!!!!!! (I'm BACK FROM BREAK!!!)

2011-04-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

I"M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my almost Easter conversation with my kid this afternoon...

Me: Tommy. Please stop leaving your underwear all over the house…

Thomas: Sheesh Lady you are tough.

Me: What did you just say?

Thomas: Nothing.. did the Easter Bunny hear me?

Me: Yep! And he’s not gonna like it.

Tommy: I wanted to call him anyway and tell him I have too many cavities so I’ll just swap my stuff for toys.

Me: Remember I told you he’s not Santa..

Tommy: Yeah Yeah… but he needs to care for kids health I’m only in Kindergarten and if I eat too much candy I’ll have no teeth by first grade.

Me:Your not gonna have teeth if I knock em out 'cause you got a fresh mouth.

Tommy: (whispers in my ear).. Now we are both getting nothing because we both have bad attitudes...

Me: GRRRRRRRRRRR I can’t win!!!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blog Break (spring break)

2011-04-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

My dear Readers......I'm going to be MIA for a week or so.. don't get nervous.... Spring break is here for me and the kids and Hubby's taking some vacation days... I am stepping away from the computer for a bit... I'll be back soon.. I promise!! Hugs!!!!!

You can't scare me!!!!!!!

2011-04-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting at my kitchen table talking to my friend who doesn’t have kids..

“Mama?? Is that poop? ", asks Bad Baby

I scoop up the blob of brown on the kitchen floor with a tissue…

I smell it..

Nope… pudding…

“Who had pudding???” I yell.

Just then in walks Tommy…

Mom…..I think I have poison Ivy on my butt …he said in a rather worrisome tone….

With no thought at all I yank his pants down flip him over..examine..

“Nope!!” I answer.. “ just some road rash from ..sliding into home…a little Neosporin and you’ll live…”

Then.. Bad Baby walks back in kitchen with something in his hand.. he gives it to me… “A tissue wif (yes he says wif) a Boogie on it for you… Mama”

Thanks I say… whipping out antibacterial wipes and rubbing him with them…

As I look at my friend she is staring at me like my hair is on fire…

“ You scare me..” , she murmured.

“Well........”, I responded.. “You can’t scare me… I live in a house with all boys.”

lol!!!!!!!!!…. Enough said!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Tshirt TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... Attitude Edition

2011-04-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to wear this on a t- shirt when I'm grumpy... I think it will work... what do you think???

Easter Bunnies, EVIL and Bad Baby

2011-04-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah Yeah.. this is the Easter Bunny in my living room.........

This picture saved Easter... Bad Baby has a wallet size of this that he's walking around with...and my other two boys are so happy that they have.."PROOF".

You see.. LAST WEEK... this demon child told my 3   year old... (Bad Baby) THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY...

So Bad Baby walked around screaming...
" There is no STUPID BUNNY ... He not real!!!!"
"That damn Bunny is FAKE!!!!!"

I calmly explained otherwise.. then

I remedied the situation quickly with this pix.....

Bad Baby told me that an aquaintences kid told them that (For all intenets and purposes I will call the teller child .. EVIL to protect the guilty (plus I think EVILS mother reads this so I don't want to push the envelope.) So, just know that EVIL is a pain   but... I still want to take EVIL and ~~kick her in the A$&.~~ scream at her.. you see this child is old enough to know that what they did was was spiteful..

If you think I 'm mad you should hear MeMa go off on the situation.... ( well this is not an r rated blog so use your imagination that the f word was an adjective ..noun and a verb )while referring to EVIL and the EVIL's parents.. who are close to us but who just chose not to manage their child and defends their everyaction... MeMa even went off yelling.. "when their kid lands behind bars.... I'm gonna show up at court and yell..... I told ya so.."

YOU DO THAT MeMA!!!! ..YOU DO THAT!!

So know you know the bunny pix story and how it saved EAsTER!!!!!!

HOPPY MONDAY!!! (LOL)

A Friday Funny Perspective

2011-04-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

My Sister Beth sent me these funny pix ..... They are taken at weird angles and give you a different perspective...lol!!!!! Have a great weekend!!


Now that's a fence!!!!!!!!!!!

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The discipline my kids with a shirt edition

2011-03-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

From now on .. I'm going to wear this and just point.... ENOUGH SAID!!!!!

I swear.. I will

2011-03-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

I swear I will buy this sign and hang it... Yesterday as I walked into the bathroom.. I saw someone that lives in my house literally walking on top of the toilet . No names will be mentioned but..I am sure the whole neighborhood heard me scream his name....(Cough cough.. Tommy)

Are you serious????

2011-03-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today at work I started looking for my car keys..as I unloaded my briefcase.. I noticed some ..."extra stuff" was in there... I proceeded to pull out not one ..but two pairs of Spongebob underwear, an R2d2 action figure, one small army man, an empty fruit snack wrapper and a handful of plastic bugs... I started talking to myself..."Are you serious??" I asked myself as I was digging furiously looking for those keys... I was so engrossed I said outloud .. "Whose Smurf is this?" ..as I pulled out a small plush Smurfette..all of the sudden a sea of laughter shook me and I realized I had an audience of people cracking up watching me like a side show..I started laughing myself when I started saying "I swear the kids put this stuff in there".. I don't think anyone believed me... Lol

Beauty and the Beast Baby

2011-03-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

My little sister was watching.. "Bad Baby"..

She's so amazing when she watches them. ..

....this time when I walked in from my meeting I was greeted by my sister in her highschool prom dress.. and my son with a fleece blanket draped around his neck..
I started thinking... Halloween.. in March???

I stood there looking like I was confused.

"I'm a princess and he's my prince.".. my sister blurted out at me like I was missing a puzzle piece..

"He was having a tantrum and told me he was running away to Disney to be a prince... I couldn't let him go alone...(she winked). . .......So I'm going with him to be a princess...."

Duh... I should have figured that out!!!!!!!!!!, I thought

Now that I get it.... I'm thinking it's more like ........Beauty and the Beast Baby..

The Bane of my existence

2011-03-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is the current bane of my existence.. .. I know I'm obsessed with my boys peeing all over the floor... they keep missing the bowl lately.

My blog friend Brian from Waystation one suggested I use a target... my mother (MeMa) suggested video cameras.. My dear friend Gretchen said let them practice peeing in a can.... I'm opting for this sign...

What do you think??? So I'm hanging this sign in my downstairs bathroom..... Cross your fingers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Tshirt Time... St. Patrick's Day Edition

2011-03-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

This T-shirt is dedicated to all wishing you a very St. Patrick's Day!!

This is the T-Shirt I know alot of you will want to wear while celebrating!!!!

Slainte!!!!!!!!! (P.s this post is dedicated to the most Irish....kilt wearing,bagpipe playin', beer drinking guy I know... My brother in law !!!!)

Defining Parenthood

2011-03-14T06:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some new Parenting definitions..

My, how words meanings change when you have kids….

Good Clothes: Attractive, expensive children’s clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.

“YIPPEE!”: What I would say if my youngest son peed in the toilet instead of all over.

WALLS: Large slabs that attract fingerprints crayons and wiped boogars.

WASHING MACHINE: The appliance in my house that runs 24 hours a day.

UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, that my middle son likes to “forget to put on”

QUIET: A state of serenity which was achieved before the birth of my first and I heard it will reoccur after the last child has left for college.

PURSE: A sack that I carry snacks ,extra kid underwear, action figures a wallet and occasionally a tube of lipstick.

“EXCUSE ME”: Now used in multiple ways by me at least 100 times a day.. i.e I heard someone burp… " Excuse Me! "

Someone talks back .." Excuse Me?"

“BECAUSE I said so”:My reason for things that can’t be explained.

Kids even change your language....

Charlie Sheen and my nightmare

2011-03-10T14:54:00.000-08:00


				Now That's funny!!! (Thanks Poppy)		P.S. Have a Great Weekend Everyone!!!!!

It's T-Shirt Time...... Dinner edition...

2011-03-09T03:40:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what I'm making for dinner tonight..
First off... it's not a "SIT DOWN" night..... We have 8 million things to do this evening..
meetings, sports,,... which leads me to believe dinner will be on the run..

which leads me to my Wednesday shirt...

I'm going to wear this for dinner tonight......

Hubby Vs. The Newspaper Lady

2011-03-06T17:27:00.000-08:00

Yes… I’m back in full effect.. My competition for my students is over.. I can have my life back.. Today I want to ask a question ….

Honestly, how can I be expected to raise normal children if my significant other has issues??

POINT IN CASE:

My Husband Vs. The Newspaper Lady

Oh yes.. As I write this I am watching my husband pace back and forth in my driveway. He has been doing this every Sunday since we got a new Newspaper Delivery Lady.

Yep… It’s almost 9:00 a.m (the middle of the afternoon for any family that has little kids..) Sunday….. NO Paper….

I yell out the window.. “Come inside.. This is ridiculous.. What are you going to do.. Yell at her?? Get inside!!!!..”

Hubby: Its not the afternoon edition.. This is every week!!!! She’s doing this on purpose.. She Hates me!!!

Me: You do know that there is world hunger out there and bigger issues you could be fighting..right??

Hubby: This Lady does this to spite me… I SWEAR!!!!

I roll my eyes and shut the window..

My sons are now all staring out the window giggling..

“Why is Daddy waking in the driveway in a dress?/” asked Tommy…

“It’s not a dress dork head It’s a robe..” answered my other son Christopher.

“Mommy, why is he red?” asked Tommy

"He’s mad, because the paper is late," I respond.

But now I am curious… What will this man do when the car with the paper lady pulls up?? So now Im glued to the window too..

Paper Lady pulls in front of the house REALLY SLOW…..and tosses paper slowly in driveway..paper lands directly in puddle splashing hubby’s bare legs. I laugh as I see her squint at hubby giving my husband a dirty look…..

Hubby walks toward the paper.. Picks it up …says.. HMPHHH.. and spins around…and walks into the house abruptly…

Now I’m laughing so hard I almost peed myself…

Yeah.. Your tough Hubby!!!

YOU SHOWED HER!!!!!!!

I'm crazed and this is what I learned

2011-02-27T16:00:00.001-08:00

This week is tough.. sorry if my posts and comments back to you are sporadic and sparse… I have a competition for my students coming up on Saturday and I am crazed……..

I wrote this actually in my head this morning as I was laying in bed..(umm really it was 3:ooa.m. and Bad Baby woke me to tell me he was thirsty…) So I’ll be back to normal next week my friends… SWEAR!!!!!!!!!

Things I’ve learned after having boys….

1. One ball + three boys = broken stuff…

2. Legos can be used as lethal weapons.

3. Sharpie Markers are hard to get off of sofas and faces..

4. One sport season runs directly into another…Football..Basketball..Baseball..(repeat),…. ( I never knew that before)

5. Hockey season goes on forever

6. Light colored display towels in bathroom are not a good thing..

7. Never cry over spilt milk,juice,water… (it will occur a lot)

8. I have become an expert in breaking up fights,

9. I can hold two boys in a head lock, and one in a vice grip with my legs while vacuuming.

10. Skinned knees, bloody noses and bruises are as common as a cold

11. Little boys can pee on walls and ceilings…

12. I can now dress my kid for hockey without breaking a nail

And finally….

13. I never have to kill spiders or bugs.. my boys save me.

MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

B.C.(Before Children)… I would take for granted little things in my life and how much they would change once kids came into play. Okay now.. I'd like you to imagine Barbara Streisand singing Memories lightly in the backround as you read this post..

Here are some prime examples…

Going to store for a gallon of milk

Then: At a moments notice.. just grab my purse and keys and I was out.

Now: Round up kids,ensure shoes and pants are on everyone (Yes, I said pants.. read Shell's blog..she'll explain), change Bad Baby’s pull up, make sure other two go to bathroom, get two juice cups and a handful of snacks for the two minute ride. Constantly scream.. "If you touch your brother again,I'm gonna turn this truck around!" for the entire time in the vehicle.

Going to bed

Then: A glass of wine,some T.V. some reading..bed , cuddle with hubby all night

Now: pajamas, bath, brush teeth,water cups,storytime, prayers..(and that’s just getting the kids ready) Fall dead asleep and wake with various childrens body parts sprawled over my head. Find hubby on floor with little blanket wrapped around him.

Going on vacation

Then: At a moments notice hubby and I would pack one small duffle bag and just spontaneously go…

Now: Five months of planning, three large suit cases, strategic carseat placement(so no fighting occurs) a cooler filled with milk, string cheese, oreos and fruit snacks.

Personal Upkeep

Then: Gym every day, tanned from vacations, perfectly manicured hands and feet ,new clothes ,shoes and handbags.

Now: What’s a gym??? Who has time for a manicure? Tan only on face and shoulders from leaning over baby pool for hours at a time. After dinner walks??( read going to the store and repeat for going for a walk.) as for designer goods... I haven't bought new underwear for myself in a year but my kids have new stuff about every minute.. ..

House Keeping
Then: Clean house once a week. Laundry once a week. House always clean spotless and ready for drop in company.

Now: Clean up after kids every waking minute.. Who can see the floor with all the Legos?? Two loads of laundry a day . I'm lucky if company comes and you have a place to sit... Scrub kitchen floor twice a day (at least)

It's like shoveling during a blizzard AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Yes I took all this for granted as a young girl before kids….But.. I guess in 20 years ..I’m going to miss it.... and I'll wish these days didn't fly by................

My five minutes out

2011-02-20T04:46:00.000-08:00

OH BOY!!!!!

The other day I ran into an old high school friend in our local Starbucks.

I was sans children because they were with hubby. I escaped for 10 minutes to get pull-ups and bandaids and I thought I stop and get a quick coffee.. Yes I had one free trip..

I must have looked relaxed because this was the conversation….

Old friend:.. You look so amazing for having three boys.

(Okay what the hell did she know?? Usually I have my 8 year old holding my pocketbook as I carry one kid under my arm and have the other one in a choke hold.)

Old friend: My, you must be one busy person…

(This is where I wanted to choke her and say.. Lady, you have no idea..

Just today I had one kid push the other down my stairs in a laundry basket, juggled one skinned knee, a bloody nose, two cases of “Oh no, Mommy look what I did in the bathroom?” , and had three separate instances where I stepped on Legos and almost broke my neck..and its 10:00a.m.)

Thank God I was interrupted by my phone ringing…

It was my oldest son…he was crying…. “Ma, come home!!!!!!!!!!!! Daddy punished us for trying to get frost off the back sliding glass doors with baseball bats…”

…enough said

It's T shirt TIME!!!!!!!! Presidents Day edition.....

2011-02-15T17:57:00.000-08:00

Its t- shirt time…. This weekend is a long weekend for Presidents Day.. (I have Friday and Monday off….yay) So to honor this I will wear my Presidents shirt…..

According to the federal government, the holiday observed on the third Monday in February is officially Washington's Birthday. But many Americans believe that this holiday is now called "Presidents' Day," in honor of both Presidents Washington and Lincoln, whose birthdays are February 22 and February 12, respectively.

According to Bad Baby,,,, “You, no work Mommy? What the fu#k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “ ugh ….this child… I’m beginning to think it’s not a stage….

Poppy's job...

2011-02-14T06:01:00.000-08:00

Last night , Tommy (my Kindergartner) decided to play restaurant. He came over and took .. “my order”. Poppy(my Dad) was in the kitchen pouring Tommy a cup of juice. As Poppy came in the room with the cup I said… "Tommy can Poppy be the bartender at your restaurant?” He looked at me.. shook his head and said… “No, he’s my bus boy.” Poppy and I laughed so hard our sides hurt. Poor Poppy!!!! Lord only knows where this child gets this stuff..

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!!

I know Big People

2011-02-11T02:37:00.000-08:00

Bad Baby is .. well …..a Bad Baby.. Last week he spit and hit his brothers.. I grabbed him and I told him that he needs to start listening because Angels are watching and they call me at night and ask if he was good…. At this point Tommy my middle kid chimed in.. Well what happens if he’s not?…. (Okay… I also told him that Devil looks for bad boys and he doesn’t want to burn up.. )

(*Please don’t mention this part to Me-Ma if you know her because she will tell our parish priest that I lost my damn mind and I’ll have to go to confession)…. Anyway….

He was so good for a whole day. He would come up to me and say… Mommy are the angels happy or what??

That evening hubby aggravated me.. I don’t exactly know what he did but… I yelled at him……...
Bad Baby put his hands on his hips and said. “.Daddy be good..angels are watching!!!” Tommy my Kindergartner came in from the other room “ Yeah Daddy you better listen to her.. you’re gonna burn in hell if you don’t…. she knows people.. (whispers) BIG people…. ( as he pushes up his eyebrows and nods real slow).

Tshirt Time!!!!!!!!!!!!! Valentines Edition!!!!

2011-02-09T02:03:00.000-08:00

Today I would like to show you some shirts I want hubby to wear for V-DAY...

First I thought this one was great..

Then I thought.. HMMMMM... this says it all..

Oh but when I saw this one ...... I figured...this is perfect!!

Wait... NO.... THIS ONE!!!!

okay ... just kidding ..anyway you look at it... I'll wear this one..

Happy Midweek everyone!!!!!!!!

Me-Ma isms

2011-02-06T17:39:00.001-08:00

Today as I yelled at Tommy … I sounded like my mom.. This made me think…..

Here’s a list of some of the classics lines my Mom..(my sisters and I still laugh about…)

Me-Ma-isms

I brought you into this world …trust me…..I’ll take you out!!

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!!!

Say that again and you won’t need braces.. you’ll need false teeth…

Did I raise you or did the wolves drop you off???

I’ll slap you so hard your father will feel it.

Say that again and I’ll knock you into next week.

Look this isn’t the Brady Bunch.. If you are telling me your leaving I’m not packing you a suitcase…If you’re running away.. you will leave the same way you came in.. with nothing…. and butt naked.. So I suggest you either…retract that statement or start stripping…

Go ahead.. play with that scissors.. when your hand gets cut off I’m not bringing you to the hospital..

…….we still laugh recalling her yelling at us…..lol!!!!! do you have any parent lines that stick in your head???

A lot of Snow story

2011-02-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I missed posting Wednesday ...
But I had a 20 page paper due for my class...
We also had another winter.."ICE" storm...
N.J. is getting slammed lately with storm after storm...

So now I will tell you my Me-Ma story...

It's snowing and my sister and I are outside shoveling.... (Hubbys not home when it snows)
I'm sweating.... sisters sweating A plowtruck comes down the road.. (please note Me-Ma is inside watching the kids..)
My next door neighbor is screaming at her husband.. I mean screaming..

Crazy Neighbor to her husband: " You are dumb ass.. put your back into it when you shovel." Your a son of a bitch"....
Just then my front door opens.. Me-Ma is standing in the doorway.. " What is that lunatic yelling at??/
Me: Mom...SHHH!!!
Me-Ma: No.. she needs to SHHHH!!This is a residential area...

Just then a plow truck comes down the road. and plows in my mailbox..

Me-Ma (SCREAMING) Is he aware thats a federal offense to plow in the mailbox??

Little Sister: Yes Mom.. I'm Pretty sure..

(Neighbor is still screaming/cursing at her husband...)

Me-Ma: Oh for the love of God tell her to shut the f--k up!!!
And tell that plow driver I'm going to put on my boots and plow in his mailbox.. Now get in here before you catch the death of colds or you pull your back out...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She slams the door..
Yep.. That's Me-Ma our neighborhood snow patrol.... Got to love her!!!!! So without further ado this shirt is for Me-Ma

Yeah... I get the Bad Mommy AWARD

2011-01-31T05:27:00.000-08:00

This is how my Bad Baby fell asleep... He was so crazy that morning..
He licked our bigscreen T.V.
Threw grape juice at his brother,
He ate my cherry chapstick..(He took a big chunk)
He hid his brothers DS,
Then he hid all the spatulas and wooden spoons so Me-Ma couldn't even threaten to smack his butt with them...

But then it got quiet.... I got scared and this is what I found.. So I left him like that for a few minutes so I could throw in another load of laundry...Yeah I know Bad Mommy Award..

The Boulder

2011-01-28T03:05:00.000-08:00

Okay it has really been snowing here in NJ..The weatherpeople re saying it's the "snowiest" January EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here is the story.....
My sisters calls me
Beth: This jerk next to me not only has snow on the roof.. but is driving around with a boulder on her roof...

Me: What? Take a picture.

Beth: Okay

So here you are.. Do you see the boulder???
Hey we are used to snow.. but not like this.....

(I bet Eva whos from Maine and Kmama from Michigan and and Melissa from Canada are calling those of us from NY/NJ whimps..lol)

Its T Shirt Time...

2011-01-26T05:01:00.001-08:00

Yeah Yeah.. I do it.. I facebook stalk.. I go on and I look at my hubby’s ex girlfriends .. Yeah I love when they are fat or their husbands are ugly..

I stalk people I never really liked and relish in the fact that they look OLD…

I love looking at ex boyfriends and finding out they’ve been divorced twice and they are balding…

Yeah I’m a stalker.. so without further ado here is my Wednesday shirt….

Do you stalk too???

The end of our season...

2011-01-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

So tonight our beloved Jets lost and football season is officially over in the N.J./ N.Y. area. My house was like a damn funeral. I think I actually heard sobbing as my husband went to the bathroom at half time. ( he said he was coughing.. likely story) Now.. For the first time in months I will get to spend time and see my hubby on Sundays.. Yeah.. Yeah.. he is a football maniac and to top it off has season Jets tickets .. (Um.. for the record I've only been to one game.. I went once.. froze my a$$ off and decided .. I'd rather be shopping...) My boys have recently turned into crazed fans themselves.... (except for Bad Baby.. he had a temper tantrum during the 3rd quarter because he wanted to watch his new Care Bear movie...)

Now that hubby will be home I will miss shopping and hiding the packages.. I will miss trying to get the credit card bill from the mail before he sees it.. (I literally almost had to flash my boobs at the mailman to ensure he gets my mail to my house earlier.. but thats another blog story) But I am soo happy life will resume to normalcy..at least until baseball season..(go Yankees!!!)...

Bad Baby and the Jersey Shore

2011-01-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

I’m a bad mother!!!!!!!!!!

My Bad Baby crawled into bed with me.. and I was watching T.V. waiting for hubby to come home from work….

I was watching Jersey Shore..on MTV..(Yes I think Its funny)

I swear I thought he was asleep or at least half out of it….

The next morning Bad Baby runs to my Mom in the morning and this is the conversation I hear…:

Bad Baby: Hey Me-Ma I watched Jersey Shore Last night..

Me-Ma (my mom): What?

Bad baby: I love Snookie and Jwow!!

Me- Ma: What the hell is wrong with your mother??

Bad Baby: Hey Me-Ma I love that show!!!

Me-Ma: Baby you are 3 You are not suppose to be watching the Jersey Shore on MTV!!!!

Bad Baby: Don’t be mad Me-Ma you are prettier than Snookie..

..and in an unprecedented move.. My mom just walked away from the debate kissed him on the forehead and continued into the kitchen.

Hmmmm……….. " the Situation” has nothing on Bad Baby he is the ultimate... Ladies man..… lol

Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!

2011-01-19T04:58:00.000-08:00

Lately Bad Baby is driving everyone nuts.. Yesterday he put Baby Balmex all over his face and told me he was a clown..... He also put his brother's action figures in the toilet and had at least four tantrums over his brother's choice of T.V. shows.... He is soo adorable.. Yet he's enough to drive anyone bananas...

I think I'll wear this shirt and teach him to read it... What do you think????

Damn Birds!!!!

2011-01-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

Damn.. I am addicted to that game angry birds..

Yes.. I started classes again towards my doctorate..(masters 32..whatever..) shouldn’t I be doing that??

I have essays to grade shouldn’t I be doing that??

I have three boys that are piling up on each other..( whoops there goes my lamp..)shouldn’t I be breaking it up??

I have laundry piled higher then my head and a bathroom that smells worse then the one at the Shell Station. Shouldn’t I be scrubbing..washing something?????

No… I’m hiding in the bathroom with my sons i pod touch playing angry birds…

“Yes dear.. I know dinners burning..thanks for getting that.. I’ll be out in a minute..”..LOL!!!!.

Tommy's words of wisdom...

2011-01-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

This morning I tried to explain to Tommy my son in Kindergarten , that we have Monday off to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr's birthday...

He said.."I know Mommy.. He was a man who wanted everyone to be happy and be friends. He wanted all different people to get along and play together nicely. Because it doesn't matter what you look like..it's whats inside that counts.... and that's a good thing, right?"

"Yes, Tommy, that's a good thing "..

Oh Tommy I love your words of wisdom...

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!! A snow edition

2011-01-12T03:55:00.000-08:00

It's snowing here in the North East... in fact..... My kids and I are home on a snow day.. With that being said... I so want this on a shirt.....

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little Erma to start your week!!!!!

2011-01-10T05:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday.. My Middle son Tommy asked me which of my kids I liked best… Of course I told him I Love each of them the same.. But then I started thinking about this ERMA BOMBECK article I had read.. So I decided to reprint it here.. Who doesn’t love ERMA??? And even though she wrote it in 1971..it still makes sense today..

To the first born......
I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, the promise of our infinity.

You sustained us through the hamburger years. The first apartment furnished in Early Poverty... our first mode of transportation (1955 feet)... the 7-inch TV set we paid on for 36 months.

You wore new, had unused grandparents and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the "original model" for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb, open pins and three-hour naps.

You were the beginning.

To the middle child...
I've always loved you the best because you drew the dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger for it.

You cried less, had more patience, wore faded and never in your life did anything "first," but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with and realized a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick. You could cross the street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married, and the world wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.

You were the continuance.

To the baby...
I've always loved you the best because endings generally are sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted milk stained bibs. The lower bunk. The cracked baseball bat. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.

You are the one we held onto so tightly. For, you see, you are the link with the past that gives a reason to tomorrow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can't give us.

When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your children tower over you, you will still be "the baby."

You were the culmination.

Thanks Erma!!!!!!!!!!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.....

2011-01-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

Okay let’s be honest I do have a problem with getting older I now pretend I am 29 and every year have anniversaries of my 29th birthday..(LOL) Every year in January I cringe when my birthday is about to come…I mean I still feel like I’m 25… so for the past 8 years I just play this game in my head. It eases the pain. People say.. “Embrace your age..” I’d rather embrace a case of the swine flu or malaria…

Christopher came home the other day with an assignment to round everyone in the houses age up to the nearest 10th..

Christopher: Mommy ..How old are you..?
Me: 29
Hubby from other room clears throat
Me: Okay really.. 29 and a half
Hubby: NATALEE!!
Me: That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.....Why do you want to know??
Christopher: Because..we have an assignment…..
Me: Well I’m 29
Hubby(is now shaking head in disgust)
Christopher: How can you be 29 if your baby sister is 29?
Me: Christi lies about her age a lot.. she likes to pretend she’s older
Hubby: Nat-a-LEE!!!!!!!!
Christopher: Okay never mind….. Let’s do your weight instead…
Me: AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(LOL)

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!! The" I'm tired "edition.......

2011-01-05T04:54:00.000-08:00

As you know Every Wednesday I showcase a shirt I need...... This basically speaks for itself!!! Last night alone my slumber was disturbed by this..(Please know that all 3 little people were involved ) "Mommy I had a bad dream.."
"Mommy I am thirsty"
"Mommy I peed my bed."
"Mommy I can't sleep..I had caffiene after 6"
"Mommy I didn't say all my prayers.. God is mad"
"Mommy, can I cuddle with you and Daddy?"

Coffee anyone????? LOL!!!!!!

I'll be Missing ..

2011-01-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

Well today I am back to work after a wonderful break.. I should be missing the caroling and the decorations.. I should be missing all that wonderfulness of the Holiday... but.....

I will miss spending time with my boys the most as I head back to work.. and the Holidays end.....

While I was home for 10 glorious days I realized it’s the little things I will miss….

I will miss helping Tommy look for his lost action figures.,D.S. games and everything else he misplaces…
I will miss Christopher walking around in his robe sipping milk from a coffee mug..(He’s an 8 year old Hugh Heffner..)
I will miss Bad Baby yelling .. “I have to go potty!!!..” Then stripping naked and running to the toilet about twenty times a day.
I will miss being caught up on laundry and not living out of laundry baskets..

Oh well back to reality.... These are days I wish I was a stay at home MOM....

.........P.s. someone remind me that in my next life I need to marry for the money..... for now... I'll settle for the love.. !!!! HUGS!!!!!

2011-01-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone.. you know I dont do this often.. So its got to be good... Chunky Bling asked me to spread the word to my blogging friends.. and honestly who can't make a little extra cash...

Just go to the site Chunky Bling..(link through here)

(or here.. and find out about the affiliate promotion...)

then put up a small button and..

you'll earn 10% of any sales they make and 5% of any sales their referrals make. That can really add up! (it averages to about 2 dollars a click)

That's it!!!! Now I'm just starting today.. so I'll let you know what the total will be after a month....

Hugs!!!!!! Hope your new Year is great so far!!!

A Special Holiday GIFT.. that makes me curse...

2010-12-31T17:23:00.000-08:00

This year the Holidays at my house were AMAZING!!! Fun.. friends... food ...family and of course presents added to the merriment…

Today I want to tell you about the craziest present my kids got… One that makes me say every bad word that was ever invented.... It was compliments of Uncle Steve and Aunt Maureen.. Yes..this year they decided to get my boys guns that shoot Marshmallows as ammunition... Yes.. that’s right…. THEY SHOOT MARSHMALLOWS!!!!! WTF????????? While the boys were opening them I was thinking that I was probably a mass murderer in my past life and Kharma was coming to get me…. But then I remembered…

Yep... THIS IS IT!!!

Back story… Maureen and Steve have two children that are teens now… Their two kids D and A where my .... “first babies..” In college, I would come home to pick up A and D from Pre K and K.. .. I would stop at a convenience store and load them up on candy/snacks..whatever… I would drive to every Mc Donalds in a 20 miles radius until we found one that had the Happy Meal toys they wanted…I would take them for anything they wanted.. spoil them then drop them off.. I didn’t know any better.. I didn’t have kids… BUT… I guess pay back is a … B*&*ch …lol

Okay.. . I now am having dreams of marshmallows on the ceiling .. stuck to the rug and clogging my sinks… Here in the North East we were just hit with a blizzard so I can’t even send them outside… But don’t worry I have A PLAN…. I’m going to have to hide them till Spring. I’m gonna wait for a rainy day…. THEN ….I’M SENDING THEM TO AUNT MAUREEN AND UNCLE STEVE'S for the afternoon ……(Of course I will pack the guns…lol….).

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Blog Break Is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas

2010-12-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

Well my dear readers... I have decided to take a Holiday from my blog until after Christmas... It is soooo crazy around here. We are definitely decking the halls....

Please know another fun filled year of adventures in this house is right around the corner.......

So I'm....

HUGS!!!!!!

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!! The almost Christmas Edition...

2010-12-15T04:02:00.000-08:00

Me-Ma (My mom) wants this on a shirt..... she claims shes wearing it all Christmas Day...

I'll take some pictures if she does..... LOL!!!!

On a side note I saw this and thought it was a riot.....

I really want to give this to my sister on a t shirt...... she's like that...... LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Real Christmas Carols

2010-12-13T05:59:00.000-08:00

I think that sometimes when I listen to Christmas music I escape to another place.. Perhaps I seem to love these tunes so much because it really is so unlike my real life… Here are some examples..

Silent Night ..Holy Night.. all is Calm… All is bright..

Yeah Right…

Real Life…"Get back to bed!!!.. No !!!!You are not getting up to get water and turn out the damn light!!!!"

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride……

Yeah Right….

Real Life…Stop shaking those bells its driving me bananas or I’m pulling this damn car over!!!!!

I’m dreaming of a White Christmas.. Just like the ones I used to know..
Yeah Right..

Real Life… When it snows my husband gets called into work to plow and I’m stuck cleaning this crap myself… no thank you…

Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose….
Yeah Right

Real Life…. No Thomas Do not color your nose red with a marker!!!!

LOL!!! Now if you will excuse me I will be sitting in front of a blazing fire with hot cocoa listening to some seasonal Music…..

Real Life .. I’ll be cooking dinner doing two loads of laundry and trying to drink a cold cup of tea while listening to my boys argue!!!!! lol

Some cards to brighten your weekend.....

2010-12-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

With The Holidays coming up…I’ll be honest…It’s a madhouse…
I've got to strat shopping and finish Christmas Cards... Speaking of Christmas Cards...

What do you think of these???
This is the CREEPIEST CARD....


Who the eff would send this card?? I'm scared of clowns as it is..

The truest Card

A funny Card

and finally my card to myself...(LOL)!!!

Have a great weekend everyone.........Jingle ON!!!!!!!!!

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!

2010-12-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

Here's another Holiday T just for you!!! Are you getting ready for the Holidays or what???

I will totally wear this shirt when I am convincing hubby I need an iphone, Xlarge Sparkly designer pocketbook and a gold bangle bracelette.... think it'll work???

Santa and the Lights

2010-12-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

So this year…in the A.M. we went to see Santa.. Yeah you can just see the devil coming out of Bad Baby) This is us waiting for Santa… We waited one and a half hours...

Sister , Brother in law and my new nephew came too…

Its blurry because.. I suck at taking pix on the sly underpressure.. but the real one was amazing.. This is the best Santa I have ever seen...he was worth the wait....

Hubby was ready though to go home and start decorating the outside of the house.....

Every year at this time… my husband becomes obsessed with Christmas lights…. If it were up to him he’d put the Griswold House to shame…. This year I begged him to tone it down… We have so much going on around here that I didn’t want to be a ..”man down” because he was on the roof for 3 days…(last year it was almost 20 hours…I swear!!) So this year after our Santa excursion Hubby came home and began hanging.. his Christmas light spectacular.. he enlisted Poppy's help and was done..in less than 3 hrs… (A record... I almost f'n fainted!!!)..


Look at Hubby working hard..

Poppy lending a hand

Was this a Christmas miracle or did our hour wait for Santa with Bad Baby wear him down??/ You decide!!!!!!!!!!

My Real List!!!!!!

2010-12-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

I sat with my boys and wrote their Christmas lists… This year I have decided to write my real Christmas List..

Dear Santa,

This year I would like my children to go to bed without whining carrying on and screaming.

I would like ornaments my kids can't take off the tree and run away with..

I would like one morning to just sleep past 6 a.m.without little people tapping me saying…..Mommy, I’m hungry.. Mom, Tommy slapped me……Mommy Are you sleeping????

I would like my middle son to eat one vegetable without throwing a fit...."I can't eat that.... I'll puke!!!!!"..is getting old..

I would like a new Kitchen floor..(I mean how many times can you use a magic eraser to get rid of crayon, pencil and marker without it starting to look…gross..)

I would like a bathroom with no pee all over the seats, wall ….UGH…. BOYS… enough said.

I would like to take a shower in peace.. Everyone has to do something or tell me something or ask for something the minute I put shampoo on my head….

I would like a maid…not just a maid.. a maid that does all the daily jobs I hate…. Dishwasher unloading.. toilet scrubbing,laundry folding and basically just walking around the house all day shutting off lights that people have left on....

I would like my pre-kids stomach back… ahhh the thought of no stretchmarks..put tears in my eyes…

I’ve been good Santa….

Well sort of .. if we forget about the incident where I told the lady down the block to.." shut the f up 'cause shes a nutball… .. "

So all in all…. Please deliver… wink wink…

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!

2010-12-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

Today .. I would like to prove I'm in the Holiday Spirit by giving you.. two... thats right.. two Festive shirts!!!!!!! It's getting pretty Merry around HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who Stole Baby Jesus???????

2010-11-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

We decorated for Christmas all weekend.....
That's what we do the weekend after Thanksgiving every year.. When I started opening boxes of decorations it was like someone released the crackens… I mean the boys tried to help/// but they were so excited especially about our Manger scene..

Jesus Mary and Joseph were a hit this year… The boys eyes lit up as I unwrapped each figurine and told them the story of the Nativity…

Like a picture book right??? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what I yelled all afternoon…after I set it up…

No! they are not action figures.

No !Joseph does not come with a car…

No! Put the camels back…

Don’t you dare try to give Mary eye makeup with that Sharpie!!!!!…

Who put R2D2 with the shepherds???…

Oh Lord who stole baby Jesus?????

On a side note we found Baby Jesus mixed in a bucket of army men..(whew) Still at this time no one will fess up for it… but I have my suspicions…

It's Santa Time!!!!

2010-11-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

“It’s the most wonderful time of the YEAR!!!” Sing it with me…

Oh yeah…. It’s my favorite time of the year in parenting terms..
That’s right the day after Thanksgiving to Dec 25th…I have the most well behaved children.. WHY??? You know… Santa’s watching!…. I’m calling Santa!.. You are getting coal!

Oh it works like a charm…..

I walk around singing…

You better watch out.. You better not cry.. you better not pout.. (you get the idea..)

It works better then Me-Mas wooden spoon.. or Poppy’s threat to call the Bad Kid School…

… Even Bad Baby accepts the POWER of the Fat Man in red.. and I love love love it..

But Dec26th SUCKS IN MY HOUSE …..

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!

2010-11-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

Yes... It's T shirt Time..
and I am wishing you a very Happy and wonderful Thanksgiving!!

I am thankful of course for my family...

but also for you my dear blog friends..

Here is my Thanksgiving shirt...

For the record I will be assisting Me- Ma in cooking Thanksgiving Dinner...
Gobble Gobble!!!!!!!

I'll be back on Friday! Hugs to you my friends!!!!!!!!!

If my Hubby had a Tree

2010-11-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

Who the heck would decorate a tree like this?? . Are you serious??? When I saw this picture in an email I giggled....

Then I thought about it and said to myself... my husband would if he was single....

Thank God he married me.....Right??

Coffee.. Christopher... and Keg Parties

2010-11-19T02:32:00.000-08:00

Christopher my oldest son is a sweetheart. I literally forget he’s 7.. They call him gifted ..I call him a ~~pain in the ass~~ an old soul.... He's unlike any seven year old you've met..
He has issues when we divert from our family schedule.. Dinner at 5 Baths at 6...he'll remind me it's 10 minutes before bedtime   (You should see peoples faces when they first see that...)
He doesn't like a messy room and forbids his little brothers from going near his room .
He follows me around turning off lights and yelling at me to unplug my phone chargers... "Mom you need to be more green.."
However.... I love food shopping with the kid. . When shopping he insists on carrying the coupons so he can check I’m buying the correct number of items.. He also checks every date in the milk case so we get the freshest one.. He plays add up the groceries in his head and tells me a round about total when we get to the register...(it's usually about a dollar off)
You get the picture…
.
If you read this blog and read about Bad Baby and Tommy.. I bet your thinking … How on God’s Earth does this woman have such opposite children??.. Well, beats the shit out of me!!!!!!!!!… anyway I digress

Christopher and I went to the foodstore alone last night.. Hubby watched the other two.. This is the conversation in the car…
Me: Christopher..want to stop at Starbucks for a Holiday Latte?

C: I shouldn’t have caffeine after 5 and I thought you were watching your sugar intake..(yes I swear he said intake..) so maybe we shouldn’t

Me: Let’s just go real quick.. We'll get you a decaf   and don’t worry I’ll get something low in sugar.

C: I don’t know…

Me: Why are you such a party pooper.

C: I’m not but we told Dad we were just going to the food store…   we said nothing about making a pit stop. He might worry we took too long…

Now Im thinking… this kids’ good conscience could work in my favor some day… I might put him to work...

Me:   Do me a favor… When your 18 and your brother is throwing a huge keg party with lots of girls.. will you call me?

Christopher just looks at me like I’m nuts

Me: Okay let’s go get some coffee……LOL!!!

(P.s. this post is difficult to write because I know all parents think their kids are intelligent.. When I talk about my oldest people most roll their eyes.. but his intelligence and high IQ is a handicap at times.... He refuses to do "normal boy stuff" like jump in a pool because he over thinks situations..I can't tell you the countless hours Poppy and hubby have spent reassuring him that everything will be fine and he has to "live a little". He can also manipulate situations with others like his little brothers..( I literally had to teach him to use his powers for good..) As for me I can easily write about my other two being crazy but for some reason I worry about what people say when I write about Christopher... )

It's T Shirt Time

2010-11-17T03:51:00.000-08:00

Yes.. I know that Christmas is being thrown in our face already and its not even Thanksgiving....

So, why should I be different?
Without Further Ado ....Todays Wednesday T-shirt....

I will have this emblem put on a shirt I will wear this on Christmas Eve and embarass Me- Ma ...(LOL)

Bad Baby and the PLANE..

2010-11-15T03:33:00.000-08:00

Bad Baby strikes again… This time it was on an airplane..

Bad Baby had issues on the plane home from Disney.. I’m almost positive we are on the no fly list because of his antics. In the beginning of our 2 ½ hour plane ride he yelled… “I hate New Jersey!! I’m Staying with Cinderella!! Bring me back to Mickey’s house!!!” …..and you know while this is going on it’s very difficult not to scream at your kids.. So..Gritting my teeth, under my breath, while smiling…..I sofltly whispered in his ear.... “William if you don’t sit down I’m going to kick your ass…”

Well that backfired…. He started screaming….

Don’t kick my ass.!!! Don’t Kick My Ass!!!!
I can’t tell you how many gasps I heard… I wanted to stand on the seat and yell.. “It’s an expression people!!..”

But… at that point I was working up such a sweat… Finally.. Hubby.. who was over one with the other two boys touched my shoulder and said… “ I’ve got this now…”

I mean right there I should have told him he gets five nights of consecutive sex for this great feat of bravery …but I’d save that information for later…(LOL)

Well the antics continued.. even though hubby had him pretty much in check… Occasionally you would hear…. “ Daddy.. Your Bad..!” At one point he started to scream… “ Okay …That’s it , Bill!!!!!!(yes he was calling my hubby by his first name)…NOW I’m Leaving..”

Then..the worst part… We are about to land…. I look over and Bad Baby is trying to unbuckle his seat belt… Then the stewardess gets over the loudspeaker..(YES the loudspeaker..) I swear..
and says.. “Sir we are about to land.. If you don’t get your toddler securely in the seat we are going to have to circle around again…” And she smiled the fakest smile… Hubby was mortified.. I know I turned 10 shades of red.. and then he put Bad Baby in a vice grip and gave a thumbs up to the stewardess….

As we get off the plane.. people clapped as we left… Some patted Bill on the back as he carried Bad Baby off the plane…. I kissed the ground and vowed not to air travel with him until he’s in Kindergarten…

I'd rather use a tree...

2010-11-12T03:29:00.000-08:00

I have written numerous posts in my blog about issues I have with my boys and the bathroom… Today I think I had a small breakdown which may require lots of wine, and online shopping to make me feel better…..(LOL)

Really? Sometimes I think I just rather find a tree then enter the boys bathroom. Honestly I dread going into that small room .. I’m always afraid of what I’ll find… Maybe I should just suck it up because I’m sure this problem is going to be with me for a while..

Every time one of them goes there is…..

A.    Pee on or all over the seat
B.    Some kind of suspicious substance on or all over my display towels
C.    Toilet paper streamers decorating the floor
D.     Wet toilet paper in the sink
E.    The cleaning products under the sink magically disappear and or mixed in somekind of brew in the toilet
F.    Underwear just laying there (honestly how does one forget to put them back on??)

I have thought about ways of combating this problem..
     A. Taking off the doors
     B. Putting in surveillance cameras
      C. Just punishing everyone who uses the bathroom including hubby (LOL!!)

… Suddenly the tree is starting to sound really good to me…

It's Tshirt Time!!!

2010-11-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

For my new readers.. every Wednesday I post a picture of a t-shirt that I think fits my mood for the week...

This week I have decided to dedicate this shirt to my husband who never ceases to amaze me with his..... um shall we say antics......

HUGS!!!!!!

Shutterfly Cards!! LOVE THEM!!!!

2010-11-09T16:33:00.000-08:00

Ahh It’s that time of year again.. Yes.. time to create Christmas Cards This year.. I have been trying since August to get my 3 angels to sit still for one shot.. Yeah Yeah Im still working on it… But, Im getting wise in my old age and going to use Shutterfly to make my holiday photocards.. With Shutterfly I just insert the shot into the card choice… Personalize the card and .. that’s it.. It comes directly to my house in days…

Shutterfly has an amazing assortment of Holiday Cards

Plus….I’m definitely getting a calendar for my Mother-in Law.. Yes.. she gets one every year.. I just download the pictures of my kids and niece and nephew.. And.. Boom.. Her favorite gift… I’m being honest when I tell you … it’s one thing that makes my life simple..

So… go to Shutterfly this season… I Love love love it!!!!

Please know Shutterfly allowed me access to their products.. But all opinions are totally mine.. I swear!!!

Disney and Defense

2010-11-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Okay Disney was AMAZing.. But I am one tired MAMA!!!!!!!! After nine days of going to every park twice… I still felt like we couldn’t accomplish everything… It was magical.. and we all had a blast. I had quite intended to write about the fun and great times we had…I had intended to tell you how the boys trick or treated through the park and how Tommy celebrated his birthday at Chef Mickeys with the Mouse himself........

Entering Main Street

Me and the boys...

   But… when I came home my sister Beth told me about this blog that has gone viral Nerdy Apple Bottoms    http://nerdyapplebottom.com/ (I have not touched a computer in 9 days so I was really out of the loop.)     … Go read this about a woman defending her sons Halloween costume.. I’ll wait…( (Me whistling..)   Okay??

After I read this… I felt like I needed to write a post about my youngest son…So I’ve decided to not be my normal funny.. and just get serious… (if you miss my funniness.. go to one of my favorite posts… that ‘ll satisfy your hunger)

William a.k.a. Bad Baby… just turned three.   William is the roughest kid you will ever meet..
My William kicks the ~~shit~~ crap out of his two older brothers without even breaking a sweat. …

Now about a year ago a wrote a post about William and his love of Barbies.. This has passed and now his newest obsession is…wait for it…..Princesses…

Well…my William LOVES Disney princesses.   At Disney. … He was in his glory. He met everyone of ..”his girls..” we even had dinner with the princesses. He got every one of their autographs. and guess what???

My husband and I have decided that we indulge our other sons in their interests…. Christopher loves Star Wars… and Tommy loves Buzz Lightyear…..
William got equal time with Snow White , Cinderella and his favorite Ariel…

(Now my husband is a guys guy who is more masculine than you can imagine.. As I’m writing this he’s spitting chewing tabacco in a cup.. while drinking a beer and swearing at some football team…So I have to say that he put all his machismo on the back burner to get to this point... and I am sooo proud that we are a united front on this subject..)

Will with Ariel

After I read Nerdy Apple Bttom's blog post I was almost in tears.. I understood.... because I have heard so many people say they are appalled that we .. "feed into this behavior..”   ..
Well F-U..
Maybe you might find it strange that my son walks around with a princess doll…   I don’t care if he sings the Little Mermaid Soundtrack by heart……. I know that he is being raised in a loving environment….I don’t care if he turns out gay or strait… I don’t care if he’s the next RuPaul..…( my whole family will be in the front row of his drag Queen pageant).. I don’t care if he turns into a ladies man that only likes princess like beauties.. What I care about and what matters is my child’s happiness because we are his family..we love him and….I’m his Mama…!!!

I will support him in everything and everything..   okay Im getting off my soap box now!!!

PS shout out to Me-Ma and Pops.. Ci-Ci , the Hurley clan and A. Drummey who helped us have a magical vacation….

Okay tomorrow I'll be funnny again.....

A Vacation

2010-10-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

My Dear Blog Friends,

I will be on a vacation... Yes... To Disney!!!

We will be trick or treating with Mickey!!!! YAY!!

My blog will also be taking a break.. ..

A new post will be up Nov. 8th...

Wish me fun!!! I will be making magical memories with my kids!!!!!!

HUGS!!!

Please know I am choosing not to be near a computer...

So , to all my wonderful readers that comment and email me..

I will return your love when I get home... Love and Pixie Dust!!! Peace .. We're outta HERE!!!

It's T Shirt TIME!!!!!!

2010-10-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesdays T shirt Time... Here's my official Halloween T !!!!

Yes.... and I not only let my kids take it... I hide it from them and eat it myself...!!!!!

Christenings and Karma

2010-10-25T04:01:00.000-07:00

My nephews Christening was wonderful.. He looked like a little white angel My boys were actually well behaved in church…(yes pigs are flying and hell is freezing over..)… The priest came to my house and no one cussed… (an f’n miracle). And the food was delicious!!!!! (thanks MeMa)

But the best part of the day was sponsored by Karma…

At church I was sooo happy to see one of my high school friends Kristin…I haven’t seen her ~~in almost 20 years.~~a long time.. She was also baptizing her daughter at the ceremony… (She has 3 boys and just had her girl on the fourth try sooo she knows I have “pink envy..”..lol ) I always loved Kristin’s personality and spirit.. she never changes..

Anyway I digress.. Kristin and I mentioned to each other we saw a kid we went to school with..

He was sitting in the front of church… He was a year ahead of us… He looked right at me and pretended he didn’t know me… Now, he was Mr. Popularity.. Mr. Cool and had an ego the size of Montana.. ~~He thought his shit didn’t stink~~……..

Oh I couldn’t help and notice that he got FAT and Bald and that his wife looked.. um… ~~haggard~~ OLD…..(yes… I went there about his wife.. and bought real-estate…)

Oh I love it when Karma makes all in this world right…

PS. countdown to my Disney vacay has begun… I’m leaving Friday!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

Clergy Scares ME!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-22T03:28:00.000-07:00

My nephew is getting christened this weekend..The baptism “after party” will be at my house.. What’s better than food and family??… We will also be having some clergy come over (our pastor and our new parish priest.. who I happened to go to high school with)…
anyway.. clergy at my house always makes me nervous..

Why you ask??… Well, I was scared once by Christopher’s encounter with a nun…

Well my mom’s friend is a nun.. Sister Carol.. Sister Carol is older and frequently visits …Years ago when she paid a visit..

I was trying to impress her with my oldest sons intelligence..

( He was one and a half at the time….)

Me: Whats Mommy’s first name… ???

Christopher: Natalee

Me: Whats Me-Mas real name.???.

Christopher: um....Gerry

Me: What's Poppys real name?????

Christopher: Fred …

Me: What's Daddy’s real name???…

Christopher looked stumped…

Me: C’mon Christopher tell Sr. Carol what Mommy calls Daddy///

Just then he lit up like a Christmas tree…

“Jerkoff!!!!” he shouted.

I just wanted to crawl under the table…

T-Shirt Time!!!!!!

2010-10-20T03:50:00.000-07:00

It’s T-Shirt Time!!!! Yes, Every Wednesday I show case my favorite weekly T-Shirt… This week… I will dedicate this to my husband.. I saw this shirt and said…. Oh My … It’s so him!!!!

Reasons I have to Pay Off the Pizza Guy

2010-10-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

This year I have been tipping the guy that usually delivers pizza to my house really big. Why?? you ask... He’s been witnessing to much weird stuff lately and a good monetary ~~payoff~~ present will set everything straight… Right?(this is the N.J.Italian side of me talking…lol)

Every week I order pizza from the same pizzeria… and..
every week the same man delivers my pie and waves to my kids… This week as he delivers the pizza he starts laughing as he’s looking over my shoulder… there’s my son
( Bad Baby) with my bra on his head and a towel around his neck like a cape….…… I gave him a huge tip..

Last week Tommy ran to the door before me when the doorbell rang…The Pizza Guy just shook his head and smiles as Tommy flung open the door … unfortunately Tommy had no pants on ..so… (umm yeah you get the picture )I was embarrassed and apologized 100 times and this guy was cracking up….I gave him a huge tip...

Then last month it was still warm here… Hubby was sitting on the back deck after a herd hot day at work...he left his can of unopened beer on the kitchen table… He says … "Baby bring Daddy that can.." As the baby is walking the can to my husband .. The doorbell rings I answer it/// The pizza guy comes to the door and is staring behind me with a face like he ate bad candy . I turn to see my 3 year old passing by with a can of beer… Trying to be funny I say.. “Oh we only let him drink when he’s not driving…” The guy just shook his head and smiled an awkward smile… I gave him a huge tip...

So now can you totally understand why I am sooooo paying hush money??? LOL

What?????

2010-10-15T04:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my Tommy and Christopher were having a deep conversation about Legos......As I listened I felt like I was listening to two old men. Tommy was speaking so articulately , a far cry from a few years ago…Christopher has always had long conversations with Tommy even when no one knew what he was talking about... Christopher could translate.

Flashback..

Tommy :( standing pointing to the freezer… ) Mama.. PoPo Klindibow

Me: What?

Tommy: PoPo Klindibow

Me: Tommy Mommy doesn’t understand..

Tommy: PoPo Klindibow !!!!!!!!!!! (Now he’s almost screaming at me like I’m deaf..)

Christopher: (walking by nonchalantly looking at a picture book ) Mom he’s asking for a Klondike Bar in the purple wrapper.... Dad put them in the freezer..(keeps walking out of kitchen)

I just slapped my forehead……

Ahhhh… Memories

My Midweek T-Shirt..

2010-10-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

Last week I told you about my decision to post T-Shirts that I will be or wish I was wearing..every Wednesday... If you know anything about my children.. you know they have a problem keeping certain clothes articles on their body..... I think this will handle that problem..

My kid can kick the S%#t out of your kid!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

I didn’t think I’d write about this….. but to be honest.. the reason why.. is I was a jerk..
I can’t seem to shake this incident that occurred during hockey with my middle son.. Now all my facebook friends know about this because I literally put up my status as it happened.. .. but here’s the whole story..

Every week whenI bring my middle son to hockey. I somehow end up near this one group of mothers on the stands. This group of mothers are from one of the richest towns in N.J. where the average house price is about 2 million..   Now I don’t live in that town obviously…… Anyway..Every week his group of mothers sit in ear shot of me talking about their personal chefs, nannies and houses with tennis courts in the back… Every week they try to include me in their conversation and I have to be honest with them and tell them my life is quite different from theirs…

Last Week:

Rich Lady: Natalee, we are starting a beginning skating group for hockey moms.. do you want to join??

Me: sure.. when?/

Rich Lady: On Tuesdays at 10:00

Me: Oh… sorry I work

Rich Lady: EWWWWW…..YOU WORK????

(I swear she said it like I was telling her I was telling her I’m a prostitute)

Me: I teach

Rich Lady: Oh you poor thing…

I actually couldn't believe this lady and her posse...
The questions continued and the more I sat there the more I felt that they were looking at me like a charity case or something…

This week:

Rich Lady: My dear ,is it true your son goes too public school?

Me: yes.. he’s in Kindergarten in our town..

Rich Lady sucks her cheeks and looks at the ladies next to her and raises her eyebrows…. As if to say poor thing can’t afford to send her son..
I felt like saying F-U..

But just then.. my little Tommy came flying down the ice and hit this (bigger) kid that was trying to go for the puck too.. Tommy checked him soo hard.. The kid slammed against the plastic(glass) and went down… The rich Lady stood up in a panic and screamed.. MY Tommy had knocked the crap out of her son…Then Tommy went on to score a goal…. and to be honest I have never been so proud… She looked at me with a vengance and I just smirked and thought..
“That’s how we roll in public school…”   LOL!!!

I was a jerk… and next week I know she won’t speak to me.. but I’m okay with that!!

The sleepover that was terminated!!!!!

2010-10-08T03:34:00.000-07:00

This week I am totally tired… I am really thankful for the weekend.. I had so much going on.this week... back to school night at work..... meetings at church.....a funeral… Ugh… Plus.. hubby was away on a business trip.. (thank God Me-Ma and Poppy helped out..)
Well anyway.. while hubby was gone for two nights…On both nights mysteriously all the kids ended up in my bed in the morning time. I can’t tell you for the life of me when they wandered in..
But when I woke up.. they were all there..

Arms and legs in dinosaur pajamas all over the bed…

The first night I thought it was sweet and figured they missed their Daddy…I thought it was sweet…

On the second night ( I woke up in a fetal position while kids took up my whole bed..)
I started asking questions…

Me: Hey you guys.. Why are we all in Mommy’s bed??

Christopher (the oldest): Umm because Daddy’s not here of course…

Tommy (the middle): Because we didn’t want you to be lonely.

Bad Baby: I love you Mommy!!

Me: Okay Okay.. but tonight Daddy’s coming home so we are all going back to our own beds.

Tommy: UGH!!! Your bed is nicer. I love to snuggle with you.

Christopher: Me too… Uh-oh.. whats wet?

Bad baby: I just peed on Mamas Bed….

We all jump up….

AHHHH!!!!!!!!! Sleepover is terminated

Something new...midweek.......

2010-10-06T02:35:00.000-07:00

I have decided that on Wednesdays I will display new funny t-shirts or sayings I would like put on them... Lately it seems like everywhere I go someones wearing what they have to say... here's mine for this week.......

... um that about sums it up for today...LOL!!

I remember.......how I changed

2010-10-04T05:00:00.001-07:00

As I watch my sister with her first.(she bought a baby wipe warmer…lol…) I felt I needed to re visit the issue of how I have changed as a mother…lol…..

I laugh as I remember how I was with my first son … I’m thinking about how much I’ve changed as a mother since then to now.. So here is my trip down memory lane…

How I’ve changed as a Mommy…….

Take case in point the nookies or pacifiers..

With my first son I would snatch up a pacifier that fell on the ground and immediately run and boil water to sterilize it. With my second.. I would take a pacifier that fell on the ground..pour some bottled water on it and give it back to him… By the time I had my third I would take the pacifier inspect it for large particles ..wipe it on my pants and put it right back in his mouth…

Baths

With my first son I would would run a tempid bath in a store bought tub that fit in the sink.. I would lay out all of his freshly ironed onesies for afterwards.. My second son I would bathe him directly in sink and have wrinkled onesies pulled straight from the dryer ready.. By the time I had my third son he is bathed with brothers in the large tub and the poor thing gets a diaper and any t-shirt that is in arms distance. If I had a fourth would I be hosing them down with the garden hose like a prison shower????

Food

With my first son I would only give him fresh organic baby food. My second son ate jarred food.. By the time my third came he ate crushed Oreos and smooshed up pot pies..

Yes as I sit and watch my sister I remember….

The Denial...

2010-10-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

No Mom… I didn’t wipe boogers on the wall…

Have a GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Signs that LIE

2010-09-29T03:48:00.000-07:00

Mom... What does this sign say???????

Hubby's Homework Issues

2010-09-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

You know I love my husband.. but sometimes .. just sometimes ..

I shake my head.. wondering what was he thinking…

I had a meeting after school.. I asked hubby to start homework with the boys…

When I came home.. all homework was done in blue crayon.. I asked my oldest why he didn’t use pencil..

He said ..”Daddy said be creative”

I’m thinking…(Um yeah..in Math?? )

Then I proceeded to ~~yell~~.. ask him what the f he was thinking ...I then proceeded to go on some rant about me being a school teacher and the boy's teachers are thinking.. What kind of teacher allows her own children to do homework in crayon?...yada yada yada.....

He had no answer and just continued to stare at me

So instead of screaming SOME MORE I did the next best thing….

I wrote a note to both teachers..

Dear Mrs..______
Daddy did homework with them last night.. Need I say more????

SORRY!!!

LOL!! You can't make this stuff up if you tried......

My new favorite thing...

2010-09-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

This is the shirt I will be wearing all weekend…

After a nonstop week…of work.. after school stuff.. impromptu dinners, sports..etc.. I’m tired on the weekends…

..I figure this will be easier and save me energy.. I’ll just point to the shirt..

I feel like all I say is No. so this will work...

No Tommy don’t pinch your brother..

No Bad Baby don’t eat glue..

No Christopher you can’t get an ipad.. for God sakes I don’t have one.. and I’m 30 years older then you..

No don’t wrestle on the front lawn..

No don’t pee all over the bathroom

No don’t lick that…

No don’t put your hand in your pants..

You get it…. So see the shirt will be just ..easier...

Have a great weekend... See ya Monday!!!!

Poppy is my Guest Blogger

2010-09-22T03:33:00.000-07:00

As some of you know.. my Dad sometimes writes guest posts for my blog....
So without Further Ado heres..
Another Bad Baby Story ( By- Poppy)

The other day we (MeMa & Poppy) took little William to the store. Natalee took Tommy to Hockey and my son-in-law Bill took Christopher to the pool store. The first leg of our trip to JC Penney was relatively uneventful. The worst thing that Will did was hide in one of the racks. I told him to get his butt out of there or the birdies were going to get him. (For some reason whenever we bring up birds he listens). Of course as he was attempting to climb out the entire rack started to tip and nearly clocked him on the head. Fortunately I had some quick reflexes and caught it in time and restored the rack to its original state. (I guess that’s why they call me “Fast Freddie”).

The second part of our trip was not so calm!!! We had promised him a book at our local dollar store if he was a good boy. He wanted a book with the princesses on the cover, you know Cinderella, Mulan, Snow White, etc. and it was only a dollar. When we got to the register I asked him to give me the book so I could pay for it and of course he started carrying on. I took it from him and the cashier quickly scanned it and gave it back to me. By this time Will threw himself on the floor and let out blood curdling screams that would have woken the dead. MeMa told him to get up and knock it off but the screaming continued. She them picked him up (remember he weighs about 55 lbs and MeMa is only a little lady), wacked him on the butt and dragged him out of the store to the car. I thanked the cashier for her kindness with the book, paid and followed them to the car. By this time Will was moaning that no one loves him and he is mad!!

MeMa and I both looked at him and said that we both love him but he has to learn to be good. He looks back at us with his Big Blue Eyes and says “I am very sorry MeMa & Poppy for being bad. I will be good – I promise”. He made us melt as he is so damn cute and who could resist.

When we got home his father was there and we told Bill – “It’s your turn now – Have fun!!”

MeMa & I them went to our local watering hole and had a cocktail – Wouldn’t you??????!!!

(Okay Bloggy friends send Poppy your Love...LOL!!)

This is the sign I will be carrying around today after work...

2010-09-20T04:50:00.001-07:00

Any Questions??????

Me-Ma vs. the Neighbor Lady

2010-09-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

My Mother wants to fist fight the lady across the street..
Now I’ll admit.. the lady is annoying..
but Me-Ma (for new readers that's what we call my MOM.)    cracks me up when she goes.. off..

See this post if you want to know more about Me-Ma

What did this woman across the street do …?/

Well first every time I see her she likes to point out something that’s wrong with my house.

I pull in the driveway from work.. She’s standing at her mailbox and walks across the street with her little dog in toe

Me: Hey   Ruby (please know all names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Ruby: Oh HI!!!    Listen ,   do you want the number of my lawn guy??

Me: Umm my hubby cuts it .. but thanks anyway..

Ruby: …Umm your lawn has a lot of weeds..

Me: I’ll tell hubby.

Ruby:     Well.. do you want the number of my friend that’s a contractor.??. Maybe he can discount you on your driveway..

Me: Ruby.. Hubby and I plan on repaving our driveway this fall…I have to go now     BYE..(I have a big fake smile)

As I enter the house my mother (Me-Ma) is crouched by the front window..

Me- Ma: What the hell did she want?/

Me:   Oh you know the usual.. she did her passive aggressive thing about the the lawn and driveway.

Me-Ma: If you didn’t make me promise to be nice to the neighbors I would tell that fake red headed Slut a thing or two.

Me: Mom.. She’s an older lady I doubt she’s a slut

Me-Ma:    Oh there’s no whore like an old whore.

Me:    Mom!!!!!!!Stop!!!!(Im now laughing)

Me- Ma:   Maybe I should ring her doorbell and complain how her dog shits all over the neighborhood.

Me: Mom… stop

Me-Ma: Well I’ll tell you God punished her anyway.

Me:.. Huh??

Me-Ma: Oh Yeah … Her lawn might be nice….but her husband is ugly as hell…

LOL!! Now that’s retribution..

YOUR Facebook Status makes me CRAZY!!!!

2010-09-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

I have to be honest Facebook makes me become a mean girl sometimes....
When I read what some people post....I get CRAZY!!!

… As I’m sitting with a pile of Legos at my feet with a lollipop stuck in my hair that Bad Baby threw at me… I’m tired.. Kids are finally sleeping .. I decide to check my friends Facebook statuses..

My one friend wrote

Boyfriend and I broke up again I so hate him..

I’m thinking..

Girl, you are no spring chicken.. take what you can get …I know it sucks you two broke up – but ,beggars can’t be choosers…

My one friend wrote

Ready for my Aruba vacay…good news .. only needed a small travel on bag since I mostly packed bikinis..

I’m thinking

Whoopdee Effin Doo….You know she doesn’t have kids .. I carry two duffel bags just to go to the grocery store with my kids.. ..I used to wear bikinis.. 500 stretchmarks, ago…..Really If I could go through the screen I’d choke the B*#ch!!
My one friend wrote

Sushi again?/

I’m thinking..

I know she has kids… Do they really eat sushi for dinner??.. If so please share your secrets on how to get kids to eat it.. For God sake my kids wont eat anything that isn’t pizza or nuggets.. UGH!!

See how catty I get?/ LOL! Ugh.. now I’m going to get this lollipop out of my hair..

Poop Balls/ Re Visited

2010-09-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

The SITS girls are having a Back to Blogging Week.. I’m so in on it...today..
THE ASSIGNMENT…
REPOST AN ENTRY WHERE YOU ARE PROUD OF THE TITLE… I chose this post because.. really who names a post after bodily functions??????....LOL!!
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.. HERE IS…….

Poop Balls

Sleeping in my house is always adventure. I always wake up with a kid or to that wasn’t there the night before. Since the baby went into his toddler bed I have had a little person staring my in the face at least once a night. Yesterday as I slept I was awaken by the presence of the baby. He stood at eye level smiling.. Ughh It’s only 4 oclock in the morning I thought.. Just then Baby stretched out his hand and said ..”For Mama…"I swear I jumped 20 feet straight up as I saw clutched in his little hand was ONE BIG POOP BALL!!!!! “AHHHH!!!!!!!” I grabbed his wrist as he kept saying ..”MAMA FOR YOU…” I was thinking…”Are there more?? Did he dig deep in his diaper for that one to show me..or did they escape all over the toddler bed??/ Please note during this whole episode my ~~oblivious~~ darling husband was snoring. Well good news.. There was only one.. and we had a 4 a.m. bath.. The bad news Not everyone finds this story so amusing.. One of my friends who doesn’t have kids looked at me like she ate a piece of bad candy as I told her this story..
Note to self.. only parents can appreciate a good body excrement story…LOL!!!!

Say What???????????

2010-09-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

My kids Have selected hearing…
Yes.. I’ve thought about bringing them to get their ears checked.. I really did.

Me: Christopher, did you do your homework?

No answer

Me: (my voice is escalating) Christopher,DID you do your HOMEWORK?

No answer

Me: (In a soft whisper) How sad the Wii is broken..

Christopher: Mommy did you say the Wii is broken???

Another example

Me: Tommy did you clean up your toys?

No answer

Me: (Screaming)..THOMAS DID YOU HEAR ME???

No answer

I take out the jar of M&Ms and pour them in a small bowl

Tommy comes running in..”Mom you got candy out of the pantry???”

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My view in line...

2010-09-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

Please let this line move faster…I just wanted some bread..
Why did I choose this line?? It was the ONLY ONE OPEN!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!! (PS- Hubby thinks my sneaky photography is getting better and I can soon work in Walmart taking pix for the website People of Walmart...if you don't know what I'm talking about check this site out... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ its hysterical..)

I remember...9/11....

2010-09-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

I guess today is a very hard day for all of the U.S… But in this post my usual merriment and joy is full of pain and sorrow.. Living in NJ. And N.Y…it’s rough today…..I live ½ an hour from the city.. So many of my friends and family were effected that day…

I remember running to my friend who I worked with… Her brother worked in the Trade Center.. My friend kept calling her brother’s cell.. He worked On the 70 th floor of Tower 2… and finally when he answered ..only because he was late for work because of a bad hangover.. we fell to our knees…hugged eachother and cried….

a view my sons will never see

I remember panicking for my best friend because I couldn’t reach her on her cell.. She walked across the whole city and was ferried to N.J. .

I remember feeling disbelief knowing that my friend Jen worked in the towers.. ..She was never found. (Jen Marie Tino you are always in my prayers)

I remember thanking God that my father no longer worked in Tower One.. he changed jobs and was “safe” in N.J.

I remember crying as my close family friend whom I call my brother.. Steve.. was called as a first responder to that site..(he is a Jersey City Fireman) I can only imagine the horror he saw .

I remember that that day there was no New York vs. New Jersey… Friends took their boats to ferry stranded passengers to safety across the Hudson

My husband and I waited in line that night for a flag at this flag store.. the line wrapped around the block…. And no one complained..

I remember that I am so blessed to live where I live.....
GOD BLESS AMERICA..

F'n Pizza anyone????

2010-09-10T03:35:00.000-07:00

My youngest son..”Bad Baby” used the f-word.. (some of you might also know this child as My BirthControl)

I am in my kitchen.with Hubby , my Dad(Poppy) ,Me-Ma , my sister Beth .…
We are discussing what kind of pizzas to order.

Me: Lets just get one plain one pepperoni

Poppy: I want anchovies

Me- Ma: I was thinking mushrooms

Bad Baby: Poppy, Order the fuckin’ pizzas!!!!!!!!!!!

We all stood frozen…

Poppy: Hey..No sayin that!!

Bad Baby: Poppy, I hungry.

Bad Baby left the room as fast as he came in.. We were all in to much shock to even move until he left the room.. and we all burst out laughing……

OH WELL!!!!! So much for a teachable moment…
F-it.. I don’t know where he gets it from. ;)

Need a costume????

2010-09-09T03:49:00.000-07:00

Fall is almost here and it’s time to start thinking Halloween!!!! This year we are going Trick or Treating in Magic Kingdom.. Yep!!! That ‘s right…We are bringing the boys to Disney for Halloween so.. I want them to be dressed right.

Tommy Is going to be Buzz Lightyear..
I got his costume from CostumeDiscounters. com

Heres Tommy in his new costume... I asked him to smile but he said he couldn't he was thinking about saving the Universe

…. First, the quality of the costume is GREAT!!!
There selection is HUGE!!!! And they have express delivery so you get it fast.. They also have the lowest prices....GUARENTEED!!!
Why would you shop anyone else????
They have costumes for childrens and adults..
(which is SUPER but, I have to figure out what Hubby and I are going to dress as…

I’m thinking Beauty and the Beast right now..LOL! But I haven’t told him yet…LOL!!!)

I am getting more costumes from them. They were fast and efficient and ordering was sooo easy. Plus they have a free exchange policy…..
Costumediscounters.com… Amazing!!!

I received a costume from costumediscounters.com. No other compensation has been received. This review is based on my own uninfluenced and honest opinions and experiences.

The first Day..BOOHOO!!!!!!!

2010-09-07T04:44:00.001-07:00

The first Day of school is always soo Horrible for me.. Why? Because I have my official first day of work and never see my babies start off the school year.. Now being a teacher is so wonderful…Except now.. Hubby takes care of seeing the boys off to school with the help of Me-Ma and Poppy. Hubby will take pictures..and send them to me on my phone.. I’ll be crying of course.

I asked the boys if they were excited on their first day.. Baby who is not in school started screaming.. “ I excited to go Me-Ma Bootcamp…Yay!!” This is what we call it when me-Ma is in charge… LOL!!

Tommy starts Kindergarten and he told me he’s a big boy who can ride the bus.. (You know I have Hubby follow that bus right to school and make sure he gets off safe.. )

Christopher is in Second this year and I had to give him the whole lecture about being a gentleman and letting other kids answer the teachers questions.. He’s that child in class that always has his hand up…you know what I’m talking about..

So today think of me. I will be greeting the children here with red swollen eyes.. Blaming it on allergies but you know the real reason…

A Great Start to the end of summer

2010-09-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

We had a great start to our Labor Day weekend.. My sister and brother -in-law had a BBQ.. It was soooo... fun.. lots of food, drinks.. the kids played nicely. Hubby's family was there...even his godparents..(His aunt and uncle who I love love love!!! They travel a lot so seeing them was a treat...)...It was great.

But do you want to know what the best part of the whole damn thing was.....???? Oh YEAH!!!!!!!! 3 sleeping kids on the way home... Priceless!!!!!

Pants ON, BOYS!!!

2010-09-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

Ahh The last weekend of summer is upon us.. . I will miss the warm days.. no work..and having dinner on my back deck…

But one thing I won’t miss are my naked children.. Yes, my children strip.... and run a muck at the drop of hat.. My middle one actually prefers swimming with no pants…
I swear I would spend my days yelling..
Keep your damn pants on!!!!...
Then I started to think..
As they grow and start dating…. it’s not going to change… is it??

I will spend their teenage years yelling keep your damn pants on …won’t I???

Who ate the icing??????

2010-09-02T03:39:00.000-07:00

Okay..see this….. these are mini carrot cakes Me-Ma made...
that someone ate the icing off the top and just left the cake…….

Hubby was so mad.. He swears it was me..

I blamed the kids…
The boys all used their canned response..

"Wasn't me Mommy!!!!!!!!!"

Then I’m thinking.. Wait.. this was a ploy.. ( HE ate the damn icing)

REASON: He complained about it so much .....my mom ( Me-Ma) offered to bake another batch right away… Damn!!! He’s good.!!!!!!!!.

My First DAY!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-01T03:46:00.001-07:00

Today is my first day back to work (The school year has officially started). I have showered already and believe it or not.. (I did it with no one bothering me..) Hubby took the day off and kids are sleeping.. Is that an effin miracle in itself???
.

This summer was soo eventful.. I will surely miss it.. The birth of my first nephew… was definitely my highlight!!! I will miss my kids so much.

I have stated before that if hubby would ever make enough money for me to stay home… I would personally install a trapeze into the bedroom.. but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon..

Soo wish me luck.. I’ll be drinking my coffee, applying my mascara as I drive there… But I’ am starting off in a great way….. NO OATMEAL HANDPRINTS ON MY BACKSIDE!!!!!!!! GO ME!!!!!!

A new favorite website!!!

2010-08-30T04:59:00.000-07:00

As all of you know I love funny websites….. Now I have one that
YOU HAVE TO SEE… it’s called My Ex Wife’s Wedding Dress..
http://myexwifesweddingdress.com/

Okay Back Story..

Kevin’s wife divorced him and took everything from the house except her wedding dress.When he asked her what he should do with it…. she told him she doesn’t care wtf he does with the dress.. Hence the website where he finds numerous uses for it.. He’s my new favorite famous celebrity!!!

This is Kevin using it as a snuggie..(LOL!!)

Another reason.. he has a link that helps people donate their used/disguarded/not used etc.. wedding dresses to great causes….

Please check it out .....it is hysterical!!!

Now if you didn’t read my post below about shoes and whine.. SCROLL DOWN…(LOL) !!!! HUGS

SHOES AND WHINE...(I MEAN WINE)

2010-08-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

I have approached this subject before.. but I have to honestly vent about my third son… Really what did I do differently with him then the rest?? He’s a nightmare!! Yesterday we went to get him shoes.. Now incase you didn’t know my “BABY” is as big as my five year old.. He has huge feet , huge hands.. well he’s just a big Guy.. One of hubbys brother is well over six feet..and I think Will will easily follow suit.. Anyway his shoe size is now surpassed his older brother and clothes shopping and shoe shopping has just become nightmares with him…Therefor we had to go to a specialty shoe store for him.......

In fancy schmancy shoe store to get measured.. Hubby and older boys standing patiently as the woman starts to show us shoe options that come in EXTRA WIDE… and he starts screaming…

I HATE THIS SHIT!!!! I HATE THIS SHIT!!.. I tried to him whisper stop.. didn’t work.. I nudged him.. didn’t work…

The girl was looking at me like…”Yeah, this barely three year old needs a kick in the ass..”

My husband leans down grabs his chubby arm and says.. Enough!!!

He looks at hubby and started yelling… YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!!!! YOU are not MY father!!!!!!

REALLY??? WHERE DOES HE GET THIS STUFF??

The shoe girl’s eyes opened up and her mouth flew open in shock…

Now I didn’t know whether to laugh, or cry or both..( ~~I laughed~~)

Needless to say we divided and conquered.. hubby took all 3 boys.... I grabbed shoes and paid….

Needless to say I then had some ~~whine~~ wine after the shoes… No really a lot of WINE!!!!!

I think I'm getting old!!!!!!!

2010-08-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

My friend gave me this and I laughed so hard I had to share it!!!! LOL!!!!

How you know that you are getting old........

How funny are those???... Thanks Celia for the laugh!!!!!

Look What was in my backyard!!!!!!!

2010-08-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

Now I need to go find my pot of Gold!!!!!!!